From a young age, Maya had always been a high achiever. Every task, project, and goal she took on was pursued with relentless dedication. Her bedroom walls, adorned with certificates of excellence, gleaming trophies, and medals, were a testament to her hard work. But despite all these achievements, Maya often found herself feeling inadequate, overshadowed by the weight of her own expectations.
Growing up, she set ambitious goals. Each time she reached a milestone, the bar would be raised higher, as if her own success diminished in value once achieved. For her, excellence wasn’t enough—she needed to be extraordinary. Winning first place didn’t feel fulfilling if she felt she could have performed even slightly better. Her friends admired her, her parents were proud, yet Maya saw only the gaps between her accomplishments and what she thought they should be.
After completing college with top honors, Maya secured a prestigious job at a leading company. Her colleagues praised her for her work ethic, her boss was thrilled with her projects, and she continued to win accolades. Yet, a constant restlessness gnawed at her. Every praise sounded hollow, every award felt insufficient. No matter how high she climbed, she felt like she hadn’t reached her own impossible standards.
One evening, after a long day, Maya sat in her apartment, surrounded by the tokens of her success. She looked around, feeling strangely empty. Her latest project had been a triumph, yet here she was, wondering if it could have been even better. Was there something she had missed? Was there more she could have done?
As she sat there, her phone chimed—a message from an old friend from college.
“Hey, Maya! I was thinking of you today and just wanted to say you’re such an inspiration to me. All your achievements make me so proud to know you.”
Maya stared at the message, surprised. She replied with a thank-you, but the words felt distant. She didn’t see herself the way her friend did. Inspiration? Pride? She only saw the flaws, the small stumbles, the areas where she hadn’t pushed herself harder.
That night, unable to sleep, Maya reflected on her journey. Why did she feel so dissatisfied despite her success? She realized that, in her quest to meet her self-imposed standards, she had lost the ability to appreciate her own growth. Each goal achieved had only fueled her self-criticism, making her own progress invisible to her.
Maya remembered the joy she used to feel when she accomplished something as a child, before the burden of expectation had crept in. Back then, winning wasn’t about surpassing an invisible standard—it was about the experience, the joy of learning and excelling. Somewhere along the line, she had replaced happiness with a need to prove herself, to a point that even her success felt like failure.
The next morning, Maya decided to make a change. She would start small, finding gratitude in her accomplishments and giving herself permission to feel pride. Her first step was to write down her achievements, not with the intent of critiquing them but to honor her efforts.
As days turned into weeks, Maya practiced looking at her work from a kinder perspective. She realized that while ambition was valuable, it didn’t need to come at the cost of self-worth. Slowly, she learned to appreciate her successes without immediately casting them aside in favor of higher standards. She allowed herself to feel proud, to recognize that her journey was filled with growth and accomplishment.
In time, Maya began to feel lighter. The feeling of inadequacy didn’t vanish overnight, but now, when she looked at her trophies and certificates, she could see not just what she achieved but the effort, the learning, and the resilience that each represented.
Through the process, Maya learned that self-expectation, when tempered with self-compassion, could still drive her forward—without overshadowing the joy of what she had already accomplished.
